Holding nothing back…

Your first time?

Posted on: September 9, 2008

So I’m watching “How To Look Good Naked” again.  Despite the things that have cropped up from time to time, I still love the show because at it’s heart it is about loving your body.  And we could ALL use a dose of body-loving.

This season, Carson has been doing a series of questions with a group of 100 women.  The question he just asked was about age when you went on your first diet.  Two women had started their first diets at the age of ten.  A pretty good chunk of women headed across the line when he raised the age to 15.  By the time Carson asked about 25-years-old, at least half the women were across the line.

I was 12 when I went on my first diet.  Mom put me on the scale, in front of my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmother, new step-grandfather and all of his family that I was meeting for the first time and exclaimed “My GOD!  If THAT is how much you weigh, we need to put you on a diet!”  Thus began my lifetime of fucked up relationship with food and my body.  I don’t even remember what I weighed at the time.  I do know I was a bit chunky, but I don’t think I was just horribly fat.  I look at pictures of me from the time, and I don’t see what the big deal was.  I was NOT huge, and even if I had been, shaming me like that in front of my entire extended family (including the NEW members of the family that I was meeting for the first time) was NOT appropriate.  It was verbally and emotionally abusive, and it set me up for a lifetime of hating my body, hating my weight, never thinking I was thin enough.

So, since I’m having my hysterectomy tomorrow, and don’t know how long it will be before I feel like sitting at the computer long enough to blog again, I want you guys to talk.

How old were you when you went on your first diet?

What made you diet for the first time?

Who, if anyone, contributed to your disordered relationship with food and with your body?

And most important of all, if you could go back and talk to the first person you remember saying something negative about your body/weight, what would you say to them?


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