Holding nothing back…

Continuing the conversation with C. Hendrikx

Posted on: April 1, 2008

Ms. Hendrikx commentedon my post about her letter to the Sun about Chloe Marshall making it to the finals of the Miss UK pageant.  I hope that Ms. Hendrikx understands my desire to keep this conversation in the open rather than taking it private.  I think there is much that people on *both* sides of this particular fence can learn from each other if we are willing to be open, honest, and nonjudgmental with each other.

The remainder of this post is written as if I were writing ONLY to Ms. Hendrikx.

I completely understand the frustration you must feel at the Sun having edited your letter.  When things get taken out of context, it almost always makes it sound much worse than it was intended.  By us keeping this conversation public, you can be assured that if/when (because I just might do it, whether because I read something wrong or because I zoned in on a certain phrase and didn’t see the rest, but be assured that if I do, it will be accidental) I take something out of context, you will be able to call me on it, just as publicly as I wrote it.  =c)

To be totally honest, my reaction to your comment on this blog is almost as strong as my reaction to your comments in the Sun that were taken out of context. 

You keep reiterating that Ms. Marshall is unhealthy, but you know *nothing* about her health except her weight.  Do you have information on her health that those of us in the U.S. might not be privy to?  Do you have *any* indication, other than OMG TEH FATZ!, that Ms. Marshall is unhealthy?  Can you point me to *any* peer-reviewed study showing that losing just 3 pounds will make a person more healthy?  Can you offer me any proof that Ms. Marshall hasn’t already lost those 3 “extra” pounds?  Surely you know that a 3 pound weight loss won’t make one iota of difference in her measurements.  How can losing those 3 pounds make her a “better” role model somehow than she already is?

Your statement that Ms. Marshall “doesn’t appear to be massively toned” implies that the only way you think she *should* be happy with her body at her current weight is if it is “mostly muscle.”  Why?  You say that it is fine with you if she is happy with her body, but then you throw out argument after argument about why she *shouldn’t* be.  It’s more than a little bit contradictory.

I don’t think that Ms. Marshall is being portrayed as a *better* role model than anyone, just a different one.  For decades, thin women have had plenty of thin models, actresses and pageant contestants to look to and see women like themselves.  Who has existed for the young plus-sized girls to look to representing them?  I can count the famous larger-than-size-10(US) women in acting, television, and modelling without taking off my shoes, yet the average woman in America is a size 14 (US) and the average woman in Great Britain in a size 16 (UK).  Why shouldn’t those women have role models that look like them and are happy and confident in their own skin?  Why shouldn’t those of us who are average-sized and larger-than-average have role models that are not constantly on one diet or another, who are not always portrayed as being comic relief?  Hell!  Even looking through a catalogue for a plus-sized store doesn’t guarantee that you will always be seeing plus-sized models!  Why can’t we even look at clothing supposedly designed FOR US without having to see it modeled by some skinny little thing that would probably DIE if she ever actually had to shop in the store she is modelling for?

I am truly sorry that you deal with criticism of your body day in and day out.  Can’t you see how harmful that criticism is?  This only makes it harder for me to understand your insistence that someone who is ONLY three pounds overweight cannot possibly be healthy and absolutely SHOULD NOT be happy with their body!  I would think that someone that deals with criticism of their body would be MORE sympathetic to someone else receiving that same criticism, whether that criticism is for being too fat or too thin.  I just don’t get how the fact that you get criticised for your body makes it OK for you to criticise others for theirs. 

I don’t agree that being THREE measly pounds overweight is as unhealthy as being 20 (or more) pounds underweight!  Not at all.  I obviously don’t agree that OMG TEH FATZ are killing yew!  I think that the only reason someone should be unhappy with their body is if it isn’t serving them well, in which case they should do everything in their power to correct the problem.  And I don’t think that anyone should have to live their life on a starvation diet just to make other people happy.

I am not here to decorate your world.  You are not here to decorate mine.  We are both here for much greater purposes than decoration, and worrying about our weight is a waste of time, energy, and brainpower.  Worrying about our health, now that’s another matter.  I just disagree that weight and health are as intertwined as you obviously think they are.


2 Responses to "Continuing the conversation with C. Hendrikx"

[…] the conversation with C. Hendrikx Hair & Styling wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt How can losing those 3 pounds make […]

Funny, she didn’t come back.

And it’s also worth noting that being a size zero isn’t bad either. You can’t judge a person by their clothing size, because you have no idea what they eat or how they live by it!

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